WELP, a lot of shit happened. And I don’t mean shit in a bad way, I mean shit as in SHIT, MY WHOLE LIFE CHANGED whendidthathappen?? For starters, I got engaged! Like for real! He liked it so much, he put a ring on it (with a minute amount of badgering on my part). If you wanna know about the engagement, ask Katharyn because I am sick of telling the story now, but just know that it was wonderful and I love Alvin even more for all the effort he put behind it. So that happened.
And then, after another month and a half, much hard work and many sleepless nights, my undergraduate college career ended. I graduated on time, with a real honest-to-blog degree in Speech-Language Pathology from IU! That happened, just a mere two weeks ago and it was crazy. I still don’t really believe any of it happened: it’s just like a crazy dream that you can’t really remember when you wake up in the morning.
The last big thing that happened was I continued applying for big girl jobs, because I guess that’s what people do after graduating college. I heard nothing from any of the previous places I sent my resume to and then just last week I applied for yet another job, this one slightly different from the rest. They called me within 24 hours of submitting my application to set up an interview for the following day. I waited approximately three days and then two days ago, a woman from the HR department called me to offer me the job! I still don’t know if I’m going to take it, but hey, it happened and I’m excited. I have an option for full-time employment, even if the hours suck and the pay isn’t spectacular. It’s something really cool to put on my resume and something to fill my time while I wait to apply for graduate school.
So that has been my past three months! Lots of love, lots of hard work, lots of boring job applications and revisions of my resume. If I accept this job, I will be moving to Indianapolis in a month, which is terrifying, but at least I’ll be with my fiancé and just a little closer to my best friend and family. I guess I’m an adult now? Now the only thing left to do is prepare myself for the heartbreaking departure from this beautiful town and everything it has meant to me. On the bright side, IT’S TIME FOR A NEW ADVENTURE!!
When you are curvy and overweight, everyone really likes to remind you of that — like kids at school, your parents, the fitting room girl at the Gap — just in case you’d forgotten all the reasons you’re supposed to be hating yourself.
Now I spent elementary school and high school being bullied. My first few years at college, I spent bulimic. And the last 10 or so years, I’ve really been trying to come to terms with how I really look. And I’ve done that — give or take — I’ve learned to like my body overall; it just kind of seems like other people still have a problem with it.
For example, I get comments like this…”I have no idea how someone as obese as you managed to land a husband,” or, “Maybe instead of writing about food, you should go on a diet,” or, “I’m not sure why anyone’s telling you you are pretty, I just see another fat girl on the Internet.” The shocking part? All from women — every single one of those comments. And they stung, but I’m used to hearing them and they don’t disable me anymore.
…But then, I had a daughter. And everything kind of changed. The thought, for one moment, that anybody would tell her that she was worthless based on how she looked — my stomach dropped, my heart stopped. Every single emotion I felt when I was 8 and had been mooed at in elementary school came back to me.
…so I decided…that talking about change is really great, but what’s more important is being the change that you want to see. So that’s what I had to do — I had to be the change. I had to redefine what normal in beauty looked like in this country…
So on May 26th, at 7 AM, with 5 of my friends in the middle of Times Square on Good Morning America, between Emeril Lagasse and a cart selling hot nuts, I stood in my bathing suit — on national television…Every single part of my body wanted me to find my pants, get the hell out of there, but I didn’t. And I didn’t, because I wanted to show people what women in this country look like…
I did this for you. And I did this for my daughter, and your daughter, and your mom, and your friends, and your sister, and all of those people. So if I can inspire you enough that you can get up in the morning and hate your body less than you did the day before, it was worth every second next to that hot nut cart.
“Ho Hey” - by The Lumineers